"!"
                       
 1238 • Book Low Tech • 9/30/19
eddiots
I.T. Comics by eddieOttic
Low Tech
URGENT! 10/21/2014

Hire 26 designer admins
2015 Software Budgets
Implement more idiocy
missMgmt
You must put a Cookie Notice on every web page.
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
OK.
No problem.
COOKIE NOTICE

I love Eddie's software.

Agree (You get a cookie)

Disagree (No cookie for you)
Low Tech
What's the difference between High Tech and Low Tech? One competent I.T. manager. Or in nerd format:
lowTech + mgrWithABrain = highTech

The Manager's Tech Adoption Plan
1. That's ridiculous! It can't work!
2. Hmmm. Everyone else is doing it.
3. Here's $7 trillion. Try it.
4. It doesn't work. Blame the devs.
5. Get acquired. Update LunkedIn.

The Maker's Tech Adoption Plan
1. We've needed that for years!
2. Let's get it. Let's make it work.
3. Read comics & go to Happy Hour.

Getting successful in tech goes way beyond ones and zeros. Adopting a mindset > adopting a tech. So forget about kanban, middleware, & digital transformation. Read this book!
Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
If your CREDIT CARD has a chip, turn it upside down, facing south and insert it on the north side.

If it doesn't have a chip,
swipe it on the west side.

If is has a logo,
tap it on the east side.
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeeEddieOttic
I don't know where to
stick it in.
efloChart
That's why
you don't
have children.
xavier127.0.0.1
Everyone be careful. Hackers are everywhere these days.
Nbr of dayssince last bug: 0dunningKruger
We should be OK. We have
Multi-Factor Authorization.
helenWaite
Does MFA
really work?
efloChart
Ask my bankruptcy attorney.
Reviews
So screwingUpHighTech = lowTech? OK, I'll buy it.
★★★★★
Truth looking for laughs about solutions looking for problems.
★★★★★
Why can't things work like they used to? (Like this book.)
★★★★★
Eddie uses tech to make jokes about tech not working. OK.
★★★★☆
This stupid book makes me want to hit Ctrl-Alt-Delete.
★☆☆☆☆
Eddie's wrong! None of these things happened at Crap-for-Less.
☆☆☆☆☆
Back to Top
Nbr of dayssince last bug: 0dunningKruger
Baby boomers can't read our tiny fonts.
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
No problem. I'll take care of it.
HELP FOR BABY BOOMERS

Enlarge Font
Fu
Yo
About Eddiots
This is a work of fiction inspired by real events I witnessed, endured, or instigated.

Every character and company is a composite of real people and places from my work life. I just changed the names to protect the incompetent.

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or businesses, active or bankrupt, is either coincidental or unavoidable because these eddiots are everywhere!

Thanks to all you bossholes, players, liars, fakers, slackers, posers, jerks, cheaters, and producers of endless technical debt. I used to hate you but now I love you because I need no imagination. I just share forward the suffering you shared with me.

Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
CallInUser1
Hon, we have a problem here at the house. Frozen windows.
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
No problem, hon. Just
pour hot
water all over.
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
So tell me,
did it help?
CallInUser1
No it's worse. Now I get nothing from my laptop.
Eddie Ottic has written 2 million lines of code for 94 firms in 50 years. There's a good chance something you own was built with his software.

He loves coding but hates going to work. Everywhere he's ever been had sufficient tech. None had sufficient management but plenty of bossholes.

When he says this, he's "not a team player". But when his comics say the same thing, others listen, laugh, and learn the inside truths no one else teaches. That's why he built eddiots.

He's a fair writer, a lousy artist, and a lazy developer. But combining them makes the magic vector art about his long I.T. incarceration. Read it, learn something, and most of all, have fun!

Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
CoffeeTeaAdderallgaryRiggBREAKROOM
VPN is down!
B.I. is down!
ERP is down!
DBMS is down!
CLOSED TICKETSadd Std Costadd Box IDsadd WIP Reportadd AWS APIadd XML feedadd Dropdownadd colorsOPEN TICKETSfix Std Costfix Box IDsfix WIP Reportfix AWS APIfix XML feedfix Dropdownfix colorspaulaNomial
OK, I'll call
the Help Desk at 912.
yogeshV

Why not 911?
efloChart

911 is down.
Table of Contents
10 X Growth  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
7
2 Guys In Garage  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
8
365 Is Down  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
9
AI Spam  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
10
AI When  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
11
Active Shooter  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
12
African  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
13
Afternoon Crash  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
14
All Night Backup  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
15
Appointment  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
16
April Fools  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
17
Ask Father Mother  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
18
BING  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
19
Backup Backup  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
20
Bananas  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
21
Bank Letter  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
22
Before DNA  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
23
Bible Tech  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
24
Birth Control  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
25
Block Hackers  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
26
Bot Mail  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
27
Brain Waves  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
28
Broken  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
29
Bucket  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
30
Buffet Cameras  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
31
Bunker 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
32
Bunker 2   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
33
Bunker 3   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
34
Bunker 4   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
35
Bunker 5   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
36
CRM System  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
37
Cable TV  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
38
Cant Do That  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
39
Car Radio  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
40
Chain Saw On Menu  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
41
Chat Gluten  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
42
Checkers  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
43
Chess  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
44
Chicken Or Egg  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
45
Chinese Tech  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
46
Chocolate  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
47
Choose Stack  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
48
Color Blind  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
49
Conformity  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
50
Constants  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
51
Cookie Notice  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
52
Cookie Policy  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
53
Credit Card  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
54
Cyber Salon 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
55
Cyber Salon 2   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
56
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Table of Contents
Cyber Salon 3   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
57
Cyber Salon 4   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
58
Cyber Salon 5   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
59
Cyberpractor 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
60
Cyberpractor 2   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
61
Cyberpractor 3   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
62
Cyberpractor 4   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
63
Cyberpractor 5   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
64
Cybertooth 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
65
Cybertooth 2   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
66
Cybertooth 3   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
67
Cybertooth 4   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
68
Cybertooth 5   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
69
Dated  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
70
Desert Cloud  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
71
Directions  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
72
Dishwash Soft  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
73
Dishwasher  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
74
Does MFA Work  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
75
Down For That  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
76
Dunnings PIN  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
77
EOT M 7 Times  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
78
Eddies Talk 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
79
Eddies Talk 2   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
80
Eddies Talk 3   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
81
Eddies Talk 4   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
82
Eddies Talk 5   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
83
Enlarge Font  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
84
Explain Wifi  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
85
FAA Down  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
86
Fig Newtons  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
87
Framework Weight  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
88
Frozen  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
89
Frozen Windows  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
90
Git Bit  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
91
Giveth Taketh  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
92
Go Wrong  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
93
Half Great Half Suck  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
94
Help Callback  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
95
Hooker  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
96
Howard Franklin  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
97
I Dunno  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
98
I Hate Popups  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
99
IT Strategies  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
100
Imaginary  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
101
In The Cloud  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
102
Incognito  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
103
Its All Down  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
104
Jeopardy  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
105
Kill Chattiot  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
106
Back to Top
Table of Contents
Latest Greatest  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
107
Latest Tech  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
108
Leaf Blower  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
109
MFA Oversight  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
110
Magic Magic  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
111
Markup  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
112
Married  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
113
Menu Item  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
114
Mgr Talk  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
115
Middleware  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
116
Middlewear  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
117
N Word  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
118
Nerd Menu  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
119
No Problem  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
120
No VPN  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
121
Not My Fault  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
122
Olive Garden  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
123
One Byte At A Time  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
124
Order Nbr 99999  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
125
Origin  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
126
Our Tech  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
127
Password Genius  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
128
Password Rules  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
129
Pay Time  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
130
Pedigree  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
131
People Skills  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
132
Phone Everything  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
133
Phone Is Down  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
134
Popular Question  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
135
Popup Virus  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
136
Porch Pirates  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
137
Power Outage  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
138
Prop Doors  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
139
Publix  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
140
Pudding  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
141
Purple Socks  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
142
Pyramids  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
143
Quebec  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
144
Read Spell Write  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
145
Reimburse  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
146
Relativity  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
147
Ripe Biter  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
148
Robocalls  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
149
Roman Buildings  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
150
Rule Breaker  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
151
Salon  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
152
Say It  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
153
Secret Password  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
154
Semicolons  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
155
Sex Sex Sex  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
156
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Table of Contents
Shortest Path  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
157
Spending Money  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
158
Sports Records  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
159
Starvation  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
160
Status Email  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
161
Stop Beeping  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
162
Streaming  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
163
Sun Tan Lotion  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
164
Super Software  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
165
Supply Chain  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
166
TED Bot  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
167
Tech Fix Tech 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
168
Tech Fix Tech 2   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
169
Tech Fix Tech 3   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
170
Tech Fix Tech 4   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
171
Tech Fix Tech 5   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
172
Term Type  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
173
Tesla Laptop  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
174
Texting Driver  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
175
Time Machine 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
176
Time Machine 2   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
177
Time Machine 3   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
178
Time Machine 4   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
179
Time Machine 5   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
180
Top Hacker  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
181
Tracking Nbr  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
182
Train People  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
183
Twitch Class  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
184
Twitter Rules  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
185
UFA  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
186
Unix Or Windows  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
187
Upgrade Popup  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
188
Upsell Socks  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
189
Upside Down  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
190
User Training  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
191
Version 42  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
192
Voicemail  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
193
WFH Bookshelves  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
194
WWIII  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
195
Welcome To IT  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
196
Well Never Do  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
197
Whats Down  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
198
Wheres Your PW  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
199
Why Give Raise  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
200
Write Email  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
201
Xaviers Class  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
202
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Pig4
If our bug impacts your Balance Sheet, we reimburse double.
If our bug impacts your Profit & Loss, we reimburse triple.
Pig4
What should we do if our bug impacts neither statement?
conVicted
Make more bugs!
Make more bugs!
You have learned from eddiots. So pay it forward. Buy a book. And indent your code!
eddiots.com
I've put up with Eddie's crap just to get royalties for my Botox. Please buy a book!
eddiots.com
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BUY $5
Only 1.823¢
per laugh!
WATERFALL
BLOWS
LESS
THAN
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
Yes we'll take the deluxe model with all the accessories.
And 8 more of that last thing. Use the same credit card.
helenWaite

Who was that?
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic

Wrong number.

eddiots Comic Books!
eddiots
by eddieOttic
NOHELLNOAGILEPLANNINGBOARDJANFEBMARAPRMAYJUNJULAUGOCTNOVDECYOU WANT IT WHEN?LOL LOL LOL LOL2025  2026  2027  2028WHERE'STHE STORYASK THEPRODUCTOWNERNEXTSPRINTSEP
Agiletated
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Bondage
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Bossholes
eddiots
by eddieOttic
 OVERHEAD
 I.T. DEPT
COST $5M.
With 1 Manager  $ 20M.
With 2 Managers   60M.
With 3 Managers 140M.
With 4 Managers 170M.
With CIO $200M
Busimess
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Code Nuts
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eddietude
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Eddieficial
Intelligence
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Git a
Job!
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Haz Math
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Low Tech
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Manajerks
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Scrumbells
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Slackers
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Crap-for-Less
Employee Trivia Game
Compete for Fun and Prizes!
1st Place: $100
2nd Place: $50
3rd Place: $25
30 second time limit per question
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Stories
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Tiny Tales


Temp Offer Expires at the Singularity!
Get all 16 Comic Books
for $39!
(reg $5 ea)
Tap on a Book
To see Inside
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MAKEUP
SHOES
STUFF
CLOTHES
COFFEE
OPRAH
ebettyOttic
Hey brainiacs! Don't forget my Eddie's first puzzle book!
LSOBSHESO
My variable names suck!
Help me be a team player!
Descrumble My Variables
What's the surprise answer?
200 NEW Puzzles
Scrumbles
for
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eddieOttic
Comic Engineer
contact: eddiots at gmail

Eddie's Favorite Comics
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