"!"
                       
 1370 • Book Manajerks • 4/1/20
eddiots
I.T. Comics by eddieOttic
Manajerks
CODE
COMPLETE
CODE
NOT
COMPLETE
ezachOverflow
How many panels and how long to read each comic?
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
This is 4 panels.
eddiots: 0:15
idiots: 0:25
managers: 0:05
helenWaite
You told us that managers were dumb. Why are they so fast?
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
Because they only look at
the pictures.
Manajerks
What's the difference between a bosshole and a manajerk? A bosshole does nothing. A manajerk does twice as much.

Bossholes do horrible things. Manajerks do terrible things. Bossholes never do wonderful things. Manajerks never do cool things. And bossholes and manajerks never do anything that really matters. Kinda get the picture?

Neither bossholes nor manajerks grok people, tech, or domains but they both love telling us what to do, whether or not it makes sense.

Why do we workers put up with bossholes and manajerks? Because we don't fully understand how bad they really are. Read on. You will.
Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
queenOfHR
Who's more important, managers or programmers?
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
Managers screwed it up before we ever touched it.
Nbr of dayssince last bug: 0dunningKruger
We weren't even here before you touched it.
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
Thank you. With that in mind, let's begin
the debate.
yogeshV
What do you think your dying wish
will be?
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
Promotion into management.
kimPediment
That's so
stupid! Why?
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
One less manager is better than
one less programmer.
Reviews
I used to hate my manajerks. After this book, I loathe them.
★★★★★
Makers don't need manajerks. See why in this book.
★★★★★
This was done in 2002 when it went into the manajerk queue.
★★★★★
If I didn't have a manajerk, who else would deny my raise?
★★★★☆
I hate this book! I give it one star. Same as my IQ.
★☆☆☆☆
I'd fire Eddie for this stupid book but Sprint 127 isn't done.
☆☆☆☆☆
Back to Top
Nbr of dayssince last bug: 0dunningKruger
Eddie, you're not a team player and your code sucks.
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeeEddieOttic
HE MAKES ME SO ANGRY!
CLOSED TICKETSadd Std Costadd Box IDsadd WIP Reportadd AWS APIadd XML feedadd Dropdownadd colorsOPEN TICKETSfix Std Costfix Box IDsfix WIP Reportfix AWS APIfix XML feedfix Dropdownfix colorspaulaNomial
Don't let him upset you. He doesn't know anything.
efloChart
Yea. He just repeats what everyone else
is saying.
About Eddiots
This is a work of fiction inspired by real events I witnessed, endured, or instigated.

Every character and company is a composite of real people and places from my work life. I just changed the names to protect the incompetent.

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or businesses, active or bankrupt, is either coincidental or unavoidable because these eddiots are everywhere!

Thanks to all you bossholes, players, liars, fakers, slackers, posers, jerks, cheaters, and producers of endless technical debt. I used to hate you but now I love you because I need no imagination. I just share forward the suffering you shared with me.

Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
Nbr of dayssince last bug: 0dunningKruger
I have six
quick things
to go over.
First of all...
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeeEddieOttic
Not now, Dunning! I'm busy! I need some space!
Nbr of dayssince last bug: 0dunningKruger
Alright already. I'll give you some space.
64GBCrap-for-Less
Eddie Ottic has written 2 million lines of code for 94 firms in 50 years. There's a good chance something you own was built with his software.

He loves coding but hates going to work. Everywhere he's ever been had sufficient tech. None had sufficient management but plenty of bossholes.

When he says this, he's "not a team player". But when his comics say the same thing, others listen, laugh, and learn the inside truths no one else teaches. That's why he built eddiots.

He's a fair writer, a lousy artist, and a lazy developer. But combining them makes the magic vector art about his long I.T. incarceration. Read it, learn something, and most of all, have fun!

Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
Woo hoo! Two months off work! Jury duty! A murder case!
CallInUser1
He strangled his boss.
Can you be objective?
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
Innocent! Innocent! Innocent!
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeeEddieOttic

Oops
Table of Contents
19 Tickets  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
7
25th Anniversary  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
8
2 Weeks Notice  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
9
AI Came  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
10
AS  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
11
Acronyms  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
12
All MB As  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
13
Always Truth  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
14
Art Of Management  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
15
Authority  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
16
Bad Touches  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
17
Bait Switch Boss  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
18
Bait Switch Team  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
19
Banned  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
20
Bar Trivia  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
21
Be A Manager  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
22
Be Kind Of Dumb  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
23
Best Manager  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
24
Binge Read  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
25
Binge Watching  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
26
Blackmail BIPOC  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
27
Blew Monopoly  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
28
Blind Dev  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
29
Boss Drinking  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
30
Boss Help You  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
31
Boss Questions  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
32
Boss Searching  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
33
Boss Training  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
34
Brain Damage  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
35
Breast Feed  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
36
Busy 3   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
37
CEO On Live  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
38
Cafeteria  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
39
Call Center  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
40
Can You Hear Me  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
41
Cant Keep  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
42
Cause Effect  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
43
Cheap Cheap Cheap  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
44
Cheerleading  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
45
Clearing Data  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
46
Client Or Server  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
47
Coding Managers  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
48
Comic Metrics  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
49
Complains  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
50
Contributor  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
51
Corvette Mud  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
52
Coverage Email  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
53
Credentials  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
54
Cyber Bully  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
55
Damn Shame  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
56
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Table of Contents
Dartboards  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
57
Days Of Good  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
58
Debate  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
59
Defective  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
60
Denominator  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
61
Dont Know What  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
62
Dope  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
63
Dred Bot  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
64
Dumb Plant  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
65
Dunnings Class  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
66
Dunnings Pick  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
67
Dying Wish  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
68
Eddies Timesheet  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
69
Eff Imm  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
70
Exec Retreat  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
71
Fast Run Times  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
72
Forest And Trees  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
73
Fridays Off  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
74
Ghoster  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
75
Good Backups  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
76
Great Answer  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
77
Great Concepts  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
78
Happiest Team  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
79
Hat Size  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
80
He Repeats  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
81
Hit Man  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
82
Holiday Express  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
83
How To Manage  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
84
I Did It  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
85
I Need Space  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
86
ITA  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
87
IT Genie 1 Of 2  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
88
IT Genie 2 Of 2  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
89
IT Retreat  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
90
Index Everything  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
91
Judge Others  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
92
Jury Duty  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
93
KL Is  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
94
KP Is Way Up  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
95
Keep Away Week  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
96
Key Pass  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
97
Key West  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
98
Knock Knock  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
99
Know Care  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
100
Left Right Brain  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
101
Less Technical  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
102
Lottery 5050  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
103
Lottery IT  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
104
Love My Book  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
105
Loyalty  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
106
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Table of Contents
Lunch And Learn  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
107
Lunch Review  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
108
MBA  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
109
Manager Bookie  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
110
Manager Doer  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
111
Managers Day  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
112
Mayor Voted Out  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
113
Mayview  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
114
Mean Time To Fail  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
115
Memory App  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
116
Meta Captcha  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
117
Metaphor  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
118
Mgmt Model  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
119
Mgr Calibrate  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
120
Micromanager  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
121
Miss Dates  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
122
Mob Bosshole  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
123
My Last Boss  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
124
Name That Tune  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
125
Nero At Lunch  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
126
Never Listens  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
127
New Faces  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
128
New Furniture  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
129
New Leads  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
130
Nice Boss  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
131
No Better  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
132
No Contact  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
133
No Heat  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
134
No Sense  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
135
No Tradeoffs  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
136
Not April Fools  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
137
Nut Holding  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
138
OO  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
139
Odds  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
140
Office Chairs  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
141
Old Boss New Boss  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
142
On Point  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
143
Only 30 Minutes  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
144
Only Had An Hour  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
145
Our Metaphor  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
146
Out Of Business  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
147
Outside Bosses  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
148
Outside The Box  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
149
Own Problems  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
150
Point Of Contact  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
151
Pointless  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
152
Poison  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
153
Postmeeting  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
154
Powderball  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
155
Protect Himself  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
156
Back to Top
Table of Contents
Quote Eisenhower  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
157
Quote FDR  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
158
Refuse Advice  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
159
Reno Warehouse  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
160
Replace Managers  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
161
Right Lunch  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
162
Same As Human  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
163
See Taste Speak  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
164
Sixth Grade  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
165
Small Budget  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
166
Smart Pills  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
167
Solve For X  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
168
Storage  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
169
Stories Now  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
170
Subject Expert  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
171
Suckcess Factors  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
172
Super Bowl  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
173
Survival Guide  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
174
Team Lunch  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
175
Tech Tip  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
177
The Loser  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
178
Transform 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
179
Transform 2   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
180
Transparency  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
181
Trouble Sleeping  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
182
Underware  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
183
Vacation  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
184
Very Old Data  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
185
What They Think  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
186
What To Check  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
187
What To Combine  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
188
What To Eat  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
189
What Why How  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
190
Whats Going On  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
191
Whineries  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
192
Who Gives Work  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
193
Why Bad Bosses  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
194
Why So Smart  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
195
Why Why Why  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
196
With That Boss  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
197
Work Boss Hard  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
199
Work Chronicles  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
200
Wrong  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
201
You Decide  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
202
You Had 0 Jobs  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
203
Youd Lose  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
204
Back to Top
Crap-for-Less I.T.924 Late Ticketsmeet tomorrowwandaWant
Dunning looks distressed. What are you so worried about?
Nbr of dayssince last bug: 0dunningKruger
Our server's Mean Time to Failure is only 3 million years.
xavier127.0.0.1
No it's not.
It's 3
BILLION years.
Nbr of dayssince last bug: 0dunningKruger
Oh what a relief! I feel so much better.
I would have charged $12,000 for this comic book. So five bucks is a bargain, right?
eddiots.com
Eddie needs to sell 7 books in the next 10 minutes to get his annual bonus. (Just kidding)
eddiots.com
Back to Top
BUY $5
Pandemic
Special
WATERFALL
BLOWS
LESS
THAN
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
My last boss was even worse than you. And he just died.
When I get to heaven, I'll give him a piece of my mind.
Nbr of dayssince last bug: 0dunningKruger
What if he's
not there?
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
Then you can give him a piece of yours.

eddiots Comic Books!
eddiots
by eddieOttic
NOHELLNOAGILEPLANNINGBOARDJANFEBMARAPRMAYJUNJULAUGOCTNOVDECYOU WANT IT WHEN?LOL LOL LOL LOL2025  2026  2027  2028WHERE'STHE STORYASK THEPRODUCTOWNERNEXTSPRINTSEP
Agiletated
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Bondage
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Bossholes
eddiots
by eddieOttic
 OVERHEAD
 I.T. DEPT
COST $5M.
With 1 Manager  $ 20M.
With 2 Managers   60M.
With 3 Managers 140M.
With 4 Managers 170M.
With CIO $200M
Busimess
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Code Nuts
eddiots
by eddieOttic
 
eddietude
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Eddieficial
Intelligence
eddiots
by eddieOttic
$100   $100   $100  $100$200   $200   $200  $200$300   $300   $300  $300$400   $400   $400  $400
SUPPLY
CHAIN
NO
BUGS
BIG
DATA
DOG
FOOD
Favorites
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Git a
Job!
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Haz Math
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Low Tech
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Manajerks
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Scrumbells
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Slackers
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Crap-for-Less
Employee Trivia Game
Compete for Fun and Prizes!
1st Place: $100
2nd Place: $50
3rd Place: $25
30 second time limit per question
  Join Game
Stories
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Tiny Tales


Temp Offer Expires at the Singularity!
Get all 16 Comic Books
for $39!
(reg $5 ea)
Tap on a Book
To see Inside
eddiots.com
BUY
NOW
$80
$39
MAKEUP
SHOES
STUFF
CLOTHES
COFFEE
OPRAH
ebettyOttic
Hey brainiacs! Don't forget my Eddie's first puzzle book!
LSOBSHESO
My variable names suck!
Help me be a team player!
Descrumble My Variables
What's the surprise answer?
200 NEW Puzzles
Scrumbles
for
eddiots
eddieOttic


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eddieOttic
Comic Engineer
contact: eddiots at gmail

Eddie's Favorite Comics
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This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 License.