"!"
                       
 1629 • Book Slackers • 3/30/21
eddiots
I.T. Comics by eddieOttic
Slackers
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
I put my heart and soul into eddiots. I hope people like it.
CLOSED TICKETSadd Std Costadd Box IDsadd WIP Reportadd AWS APIadd XML feedadd Dropdownadd colorsOPEN TICKETSfix Std Costfix Box IDsfix WIP Reportfix AWS APIfix XML feedfix Dropdownfix colorspaulaNomial
Now let's not get too far ahead of ourselves, OK?
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
I'd love to have many raving fans, all worked up and excited.
efloChart
Trying to unsubscribe.
Slackers
The only slackers in I.T. are the programmers. Wait? What are you talking about?

It's pretty simple actually. We define "slacking" as the delta between what you should be doing and what you actually do. Since programmers are the only ones in I.T. who actually do anything that matters (producing value with a product), then they're the only ones who could slack. Right?

So what do we do about slacking? We change our habits. We change our lifestyle. And of course, to be perfectly logical, we change the definition of what we should be doing.

"Slackers" explores all of this and more. Welcome to dev life in I.T.!
Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
yogeshV
Why does Al peek under his keyboard every time he tests?
kimPediment
Because he has a cheat sheet under there.
CoffeeTeaAdderallgaryRiggBREAKROOM
That's odd for such a smart guy. What
does it say?

Blue Screen
TEST

Red Screen
PRODUCTION
alGorithm
This is Eddie's best software ever! How'd
you do it?
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
Into the zone. Lots of coffee. Super loud U2. Got naked.
CLOSED TICKETSadd Std Costadd Box IDsadd WIP Reportadd AWS APIadd XML feedadd Dropdownadd colorsOPEN TICKETSfix Std Costfix Box IDsfix WIP Reportfix AWS APIfix XML feedfix Dropdownfix colorspaulaNomial
This is great. Can you replicate it?
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeeEddieOttic
No. I've been banned from Starbucks.
Reviews
My best habit making stuff? Reading Eddie's comic books!
★★★★★
There's so much more than the code. Eddie shows you.
★★★★★
Eddie's best comic book ever! No it's not! Yes it is!
★★★★★
I love coding. Corporate I.T. not so much. See why here.
★★★★☆
I just don't understand the programmer mindset.
★☆☆☆☆
Don't waste your money on Eddie's books. Buy my crap instead.
☆☆☆☆☆
Back to Top
CLOSED TICKETSadd Std Costadd Box IDsadd WIP Reportadd AWS APIadd XML feedadd Dropdownadd colorsOPEN TICKETSfix Std Costfix Box IDsfix WIP Reportfix AWS APIfix XML feedfix Dropdownfix colorspaulaNomial
Tab, Comma, what's wrong with your logic in orp572?
alGorithm
And why is your work either excellent or horrible?
etab&commaDelimitter
Because we're bipolar.

No we're not.
About Eddiots
This is a work of fiction inspired by real events I witnessed, endured, or instigated.

Every character and company is a composite of real people and places from my work life. I just changed the names to protect the incompetent.

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or businesses, active or bankrupt, is either coincidental or unavoidable because these eddiots are everywhere!

Thanks to all you bossholes, players, liars, fakers, slackers, posers, jerks, cheaters, and producers of endless technical debt. I used to hate you but now I love you because I need no imagination. I just share forward the suffering you shared with me.

Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
yogeshV
I code before breakfast. I code before lunch.
I code before dinner. I code before bedtime.
helenWaite
What do you
do for fun?
yogeshV

Codepen
Eddie Ottic has written 2 million lines of code for 94 firms in 50 years. There's a good chance something you own was built with his software.

He loves coding but hates going to work. Everywhere he's ever been had sufficient tech. None had sufficient management but plenty of bossholes.

When he says this, he's "not a team player". But when his comics say the same thing, others listen, laugh, and learn the inside truths no one else teaches. That's why he built eddiots.

He's a fair writer, a lousy artist, and a lazy developer. But combining them makes the magic vector art about his long I.T. incarceration. Read it, learn something, and most of all, have fun!

Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
Nbr of dayssince last bug: 0dunningKruger
Eddie, come in tomorrow to pair-program with Flo.
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeeEddieOttic
No! Flo's bringing in her dog Sam. The smell sucks!
URGENT! 10/21/2014

Hire 26 designer admins
2015 Software Budgets
Implement more idiocy
missMgmt
Flo, for Eddie's sake, please leave Sam home tomorrow.
efloChart
No! If I can
get used to
the smell,
so can Sam.
Table of Contents
10000 Hours  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
7
1 Thing At A Time  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
8
21  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
9
2 Bots  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
10
2 Checkers  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
11
2 Favorite Things  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
12
2nd Dumbest  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
13
3 Signs Desk  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
14
4 Cars 4 People  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
15
Alaska Texas  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
16
All Worked Up  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
17
Als Cheatsheet  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
18
Always Walking  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
19
An Hour First  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
20
Attention  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
21
Bad Aim  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
22
Bad And Nasty  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
23
Bad Coffee  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
24
Bad Or Good News  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
25
Beer And Thirst  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
26
Best Exercise  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
27
Best Hack  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
28
Best Music  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
29
Best Setup  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
30
Best Software  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
31
Best Tech  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
32
Best Worst SM  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
33
Binging Eddiots  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
34
Bipolar  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
35
Blackmail  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
36
Book Of The Month  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
37
Boss Day  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
38
Bot Bay  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
39
Bot Love  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
40
Bot Meetup  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
41
Bot Tube  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
42
Buffet Drone  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
43
Burnt Out  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
44
CEO Was Arrested  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
45
Cant Get Dates  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
47
Celebrating  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
48
Clemente  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
49
Code Pen  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
50
Comic Friends  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
51
Critics  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
52
Cubicle Smell  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
53
Daily Routine  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
54
Dating Nerds  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
55
Days I Dont Play  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
56
Death By Troll  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
57
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Table of Contents
Decouple  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
58
Defacing  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
59
Dev Like Doctor  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
60
Devpardy Captcha  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
61
Dirty Talk  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
62
Distracted  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
63
Distraction  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
64
Dolly  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
65
Dont Need Hacks  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
66
Double Dip  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
67
Drive  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
68
Drug Testing  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
69
Dumb Game  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
70
EOY  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
71
Eddie Ottic  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
72
Eddies Grandpa  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
73
Eddies Twitch  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
74
Eddietropy  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
75
Eddiezheimers  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
76
Eligible Bachelor  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
77
Email Response  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
78
Enforcer  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
79
Exercise  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
80
Favorite Actor  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
81
Favorite Actress  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
82
Favorite Movie  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
83
Feed The Children  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
84
Filthy Breakroom  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
85
Fix Eddies Art  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
86
Flos Hacker Guy  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
87
Focus Trouble  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
88
Foursome  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
89
French  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
90
Frustrated  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
91
Frustration  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
92
Garage Sale  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
93
Gaslighting  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
94
Ghosted  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
95
Glamour Jobs  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
96
Gluten  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
97
Go Go Go  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
98
Graduates Only  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
99
Grand Scheme  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
100
Great Books  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
101
Great Memory  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
102
HR Visit  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
103
Happy Birthday  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
104
Hot New Dev  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
105
How Long It Takes  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
106
In Detroit  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
107
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Table of Contents
In The Zone  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
108
Infrequently  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
109
Kids Hate Names  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
110
Lazy Dev  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
111
Lazy Premie  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
112
Like No Like  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
113
Likely Succeed  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
114
Look For Trouble  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
115
Love And Hate  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
116
Love Wife  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
117
Loved More  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
118
Mensa  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
119
Mentor Best  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
120
Millionaire  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
121
Mindset  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
122
Mixed Feelings  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
123
Mole Box  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
124
Mom And Dad  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
125
Month Ache  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
126
Motivates  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
127
Motivator  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
128
Multiasking  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
129
Multitasking 1  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
130
Multitasking 2  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
131
Multitasking 3  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
132
My Back Hurts  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
133
NFT  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
134
Need Vacation  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
135
New Boyfriend  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
136
No 401 K  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
137
No Gender  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
138
No Investments  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
139
No To Do List  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
140
Nonbinomial  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
141
Not Busy  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
142
Not Creator  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
143
Nude Dev Club  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
144
PTO Mother  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
145
Parents Weekend  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
146
Paternity  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
147
People Person  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
148
Performance  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
149
Photo Mem  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
150
Pirates  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
151
Plan For Success  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
152
Pleasure Pills  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
153
Polynomial  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
154
Pop Quiz  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
155
Portfolio  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
156
Punch Line  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
157
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Table of Contents
Quote Frost  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
158
Really Bad Act  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
159
Referee  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
160
Remembering  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
161
Reputation  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
162
Retorical  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
163
Reward Punish  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
164
Rich Famous  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
165
Richest Man  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
166
Role Play  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
167
Roomba  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
168
Sausage  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
169
Server Data  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
170
Simplification  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
171
Simulators  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
172
Smarty  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
173
So Important  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
174
So Smart  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
175
Social Security  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
176
Special Ed  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
177
Sports Quotes  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
178
Stopping Point  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
179
Therefore  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
180
To Do List  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
181
Tombstone  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
182
Top Programmer  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
183
Trivia Game  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
184
Turkey  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
193
USA Vs England  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
194
Valium Fix  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
195
Weak Code  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
196
What I Love  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
197
Who Had The  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
198
Why Smoke  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
199
Why So Special  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
200
Why Wouldnt I  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
201
Why Write Down  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
202
Work Understand  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
203
Youth To Career  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
204
Back to Top
width='172' height='260' >
helenWaite
Oh no! Climate protesters have defaced Eddie's comic art!
width='172' height='260' >
efloChart
How can
you tell?
If you buy a comic book, I'll give Eddie time off to make more. You believe me, right?
eddiots.com
I was on Help Desk until Eddie made eddiots. Please buy a book so I don't have to return.
eddiots.com
Back to Top
BUY $5
Less than
Panera!
Take
Long
Lunch
Ignore
SOX
Audit
Copy
Time
Sheet
Get
More
Coffee
Hide
from
Nero
PIN
is
1234
scrumBell
Eddie, what
did you do yesterday?
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
I refactored
the php on Asana 12743.
efloChart
We have Ruby, not php. And
we have Jira, not Asana.
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeeEddieOttic
Oops! Wrong webcam.

eddiots Comic Books!
eddiots
by eddieOttic
NOHELLNOAGILEPLANNINGBOARDJANFEBMARAPRMAYJUNJULAUGOCTNOVDECYOU WANT IT WHEN?LOL LOL LOL LOL2025  2026  2027  2028WHERE'STHE STORYASK THEPRODUCTOWNERNEXTSPRINTSEP
Agiletated
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Bondage
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Bossholes
eddiots
by eddieOttic
 OVERHEAD
 I.T. DEPT
COST $5M.
With 1 Manager  $ 20M.
With 2 Managers   60M.
With 3 Managers 140M.
With 4 Managers 170M.
With CIO $200M
Busimess
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Code Nuts
eddiots
by eddieOttic
 
eddietude
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Eddieficial
Intelligence
eddiots
by eddieOttic
$100   $100   $100  $100$200   $200   $200  $200$300   $300   $300  $300$400   $400   $400  $400
SUPPLY
CHAIN
NO
BUGS
BIG
DATA
DOG
FOOD
Favorites
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by eddieOttic
Git a
Job!
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Haz Math
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Low Tech
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Manajerks
eddiots
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Scrumbells
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Slackers
eddiots
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Crap-for-Less
Employee Trivia Game
Compete for Fun and Prizes!
1st Place: $100
2nd Place: $50
3rd Place: $25
30 second time limit per question
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Stories
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Tiny Tales


Temp Offer Expires at the Singularity!
Get all 16 Comic Books
for $39!
(reg $5 ea)
Tap on a Book
To see Inside
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MAKEUP
SHOES
STUFF
CLOTHES
COFFEE
OPRAH
ebettyOttic
Hey brainiacs! Don't forget my Eddie's first puzzle book!
LSOBSHESO
My variable names suck!
Help me be a team player!
Descrumble My Variables
What's the surprise answer?
200 NEW Puzzles
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eddieOttic
Comic Engineer
contact: eddiots at gmail

Eddie's Favorite Comics
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