"!"
                       
 1899 • Book Tiny Tales • 4/12/22
eddiots
I.T. Comics by eddieOttic
Tiny Tales
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
Queen, it's your turn to try Cybertooth.
cybertoothqueenOfHR
Cool. Dr V is going to fix my broken crown.
CallInUser1
Which tooth hurts? I don't see any crown problems.
cybertoothqueenOfHR
Not in there! The broken crown is on top of my head.
Tiny Tales
"Tiny Tales" is a little experiment, different from every other comic book. It's a compilation of 39 "tiny tales", each with five comic strips of four panels.

Al moved to Austrailia. Eddie got into leather, gave a Teddiots talk, then became a manager for a week. Lexi, the blind programmer joined the team.

New cyber technology enabled the team to "multitask" during meetings.

What is you life like in I.T.? How do you deal with all the strange and wonderous people and happenings? How much fun do you have?

Cheer up and read this book!
Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
URGENT! 10/21/2014

Hire 26 designer admins
2015 Software Budgets
Implement more idiocy
missMgmt
I'm tired of programmers doing whatever they want!
Nbr of dayssince last bug: 0dunningKruger
Why don't you just listen to us and do exactly what we say?
yogeshV
Why do managers complain do much?
efloChart
Bitchital Transformation
Crap-for-Less I.T.924 Late Ticketsmeet tomorrowwandaWant
I'm here because programmers can't analyze.
htmlcssuxsvgfontwtfindigoPixel
I'm here because programmers can't design.
Nbr of dayssince last bug: 0dunningKruger
I'm here because programmers can't manage.
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
I'm here because
idiots
can't code.
Reviews
Brilliant! Arrays of stories symbolizing I.T. endlessness!
★★★★★
My Eddie's 16th book. If you didn't buy one yet, buy this!
★★★★★
My memoir: Check out Glass Tape, Bondage, & Eddie's Talk.
★★★★★
Eddie's most creative work. (Not necessarliy a compliment)
★★★★☆
Can you find a reference to my mother? I still hate Eddie.
★☆☆☆☆
Written during working hours. No bonus for Eddie this year.
☆☆☆☆☆
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conVicted
Eddie's Time Machine is all wrong!
URGENT! 10/21/2014

Hire 26 designer admins
2015 Software Budgets
Implement more idiocy
missMgmt
We want to go to the future, not the past.
conVicted
We must plan our business for what people
will want.
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
I just wanted to know how my great-granddad made parole.
About Eddiots
This is a work of fiction inspired by real events I witnessed, endured, or instigated.

Every character and company is a composite of real people and places from my work life. I just changed the names to protect the incompetent.

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or businesses, active or bankrupt, is either coincidental or unavoidable because these eddiots are everywhere!

Thanks to all you bossholes, players, liars, fakers, slackers, posers, jerks, cheaters, and producers of endless technical debt. I used to hate you but now I love you because I need no imagination. I just share forward the suffering you shared with me.

Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
xavier127.0.0.1
The code with the killer bug is orp554. Who wrote it?
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
Hmmm... 2015 XJ style. PRC+. Library 7F. Must be Team 28.
WATERFALL
BLOWS
LESS
THAN
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
Written during R9 upload. Had to be Gary, Al, Paula, or Kim.
"," instead of ".' in syntax. Double tabbed comments.
Eddie Ottic has written 2 million lines of code for 94 firms in 50 years. There's a good chance something you own was built with his software.

He loves coding but hates going to work. Everywhere he's ever been had sufficient tech. None had sufficient management but plenty of bossholes.

When he says this, he's "not a team player". But when his comics say the same thing, others listen, laugh, and learn the inside truths no one else teaches. That's why he built eddiots.

He's a fair writer, a lousy artist, and a lazy developer. But combining them makes the magic vector art about his long I.T. incarceration. Read it, learn something, and most of all, have fun!

Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
CLOSED TICKETSadd Std Costadd Box IDsadd WIP Reportadd AWS APIadd XML feedadd Dropdownadd colorsOPEN TICKETSfix Std Costfix Box IDsfix WIP Reportfix AWS APIfix XML feedfix Dropdownfix colorspaulaNomial
There are long lines to every rest room! What's wrong?
yogeshV
Nero's all-hands presentation made everyone nauseous.
alGorithm
That explains I.T. but why all the other departments?
efloChart
The cafeteria served tacos and chili today.
Table of Contents
Acronyms 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
4
Adderall 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
9
Adjudicate 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
14
Artists 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
19
Austrailia 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
24
Best Song 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
29
Blind Dev 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
34
Bondage 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
39
Bunker 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
44
Busy 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
49
CA B 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
54
Code Rocks 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
59
Cyber Salon 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
64
Cyberpractor 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
69
Cybertooth 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
74
Dev Sitdown 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
79
Eddies Talk 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
84
Ethics 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
89
Every Day 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
94
Fired 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
99
Glass Tape 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
104
Grammar 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
109
HCF A 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
114
IT Diner 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
119
Kims Baby 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
124
Lead Eddie 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
129
No Agile 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
134
Octodev 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
139
Onboarding 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
144
Psychic 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
150
Rest Room 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
156
Riddles 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
161
Steelers 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
166
Tech Fix Tech 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
172
Teched Out 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
177
The Purge 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
182
Time Machine 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
187
Transform 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
192
Why Im Here 1   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
197
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conVicted
Looks like we'll have to build the bunker
in Tampa.
CoffeeTeaAdderallgaryRiggBREAKROOM
That's the worst idea so far!
Crap-for-Less I.T.924 Late Ticketsmeet tomorrowwandaWant
Tampa has the dumbest people in the world!
efloChart
You think it's bad now? Wait til we get there.
If Eddie sells enough comic books, he can get us separated. Please! Save us!
eddiots.com
If you like this book, buy it. If you don't, buy it anyway and I'll write the next one.
eddiots.com
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BUY $5
Better than
Suckcess Factors!
MISSIONSTATEMENTIf you'rereading this,you're the firstperson whoever did.ORG CHARTI'm the boss.You're not.OPEN DOORPOLICYlol lol lol lolneroFiddler
The cloud's too small so we'll build a bunker on Pluto.
CoffeeTeaAdderallgaryRiggBREAKROOM
That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard!
xavier127.0.0.1
The response time will be horrible!
Nbr of dayssince last bug: 0dunningKruger
So what? It'll be horrible for the hackers too.

eddiots Comic Books!
eddiots
by eddieOttic
NOHELLNOAGILEPLANNINGBOARDJANFEBMARAPRMAYJUNJULAUGOCTNOVDECYOU WANT IT WHEN?LOL LOL LOL LOL2025  2026  2027  2028WHERE'STHE STORYASK THEPRODUCTOWNERNEXTSPRINTSEP
Agiletated
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Bondage
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Bossholes
eddiots
by eddieOttic
 OVERHEAD
 I.T. DEPT
COST $5M.
With 1 Manager  $ 20M.
With 2 Managers   60M.
With 3 Managers 140M.
With 4 Managers 170M.
With CIO $200M
Busimess
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Code Nuts
eddiots
by eddieOttic
 
eddietude
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Eddieficial
Intelligence
eddiots
by eddieOttic
$100   $100   $100  $100$200   $200   $200  $200$300   $300   $300  $300$400   $400   $400  $400
SUPPLY
CHAIN
NO
BUGS
BIG
DATA
DOG
FOOD
Favorites
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Git a
Job!
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Haz Math
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Low Tech
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Manajerks
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Scrumbells
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Slackers
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Crap-for-Less
Employee Trivia Game
Compete for Fun and Prizes!
1st Place: $100
2nd Place: $50
3rd Place: $25
30 second time limit per question
  Join Game
Stories
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Tiny Tales


Temp Offer Expires at the Singularity!
Get all 16 Comic Books
for $39!
(reg $5 ea)
Tap on a Book
To see Inside
eddiots.com
BUY
NOW
$80
$39
MAKEUP
SHOES
STUFF
CLOTHES
COFFEE
OPRAH
ebettyOttic
Hey brainiacs! Don't forget my Eddie's first puzzle book!
LSOBSHESO
My variable names suck!
Help me be a team player!
Descrumble My Variables
What's the surprise answer?
200 NEW Puzzles
Scrumbles
for
eddiots
eddieOttic


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eddieOttic
Comic Engineer
contact: eddiots at gmail

Eddie's Favorite Comics
Loading ArtistWork ChroniclesThey Can TalkxkcdCyanide and HappinessPizza Cake

This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 License.