"!"
                       
 228 • Book Bondage • 11/16/15
eddiots
I.T. Comics by eddieOttic
Bondage
alGorithm
We haven't seen that 98 year old programmer Joe lately.
helenWaite
That's because he's gone.
yogeshV
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. What are the arrangements?
efloChart
He's working from home.
His girlfriend
is pregnant.
Bondage
What's the difference between working in a I.T. department and being kidnapped? In one, the hostages get free pizza and in the other they have to write software.

Here's the thing software developers have to understand: We are hostages. Our managers are kipnappers. In the enterprise, I.T. managers know nothing, do nothing, and achieve nothing except keeping us working. (And they don't even do that well because we're so self-driven.)

There's only one way out: another job. Each of my parents spent their entire career at one company. I've worked for 94 because I got good at escaping bondage. Why haven't you?

Find escape motivation in this book.
Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
queenOfHR
Great work, Kim! How does this remark make you feel?
kimPediment
Wonderful! If I heard that just once a week, I'd be happy.
queenOfHR
Nero, did you hear that?
MISSIONSTATEMENTIf you'rereading this,you're the firstperson whoever did.ORG CHARTI'm the boss.You're not.OPEN DOORPOLICYlol lol lol lolneroFiddler
Yes. Which day will you be
joining us?
helenWaite
Today Eddie is on Help Desk.
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeeEddieOttic
OW! OW! OW!
I cut my finger off on the paper slitter!
URGENT! 10/21/2014

Hire 26 designer admins
2015 Software Budgets
Implement more idiocy
missMgmt
Quick! Call 911! Hurry! Hurry! Flo, you're on Help Desk.
efloChart
He did that
on purpose.
Reviews
I thought Eddie was kinky.
But he really is a dev slave.
★★★★★
My cousin's incarcerated for drugs. What did we do wrong?
★★★★★
I worked my butt off just to get here. Now this!
★★★★★
Programmers suffer but not
as much as their users.
★★★★☆
Why do the laziest developers complain the most?
★☆☆☆☆
The beatings will continue
until the software finally runs.
☆☆☆☆☆
Back to Top
MISSIONSTATEMENTIf you'rereading this,you're the firstperson whoever did.ORG CHARTI'm the boss.You're not.OPEN DOORPOLICYlol lol lol lolneroFiddler
How do you
like my
new leather furniture?
Nbr of dayssince last bug: 0dunningKruger
It's beautiful, your highness.
URGENT! 10/21/2014

Hire 26 designer admins
2015 Software Budgets
Implement more idiocy
missMgmt
How many animals had to suffer for you to have this?
queenOfHR
Don't call the programmers animals.
About Eddiots
This is a work of fiction inspired by real events I witnessed, endured, or instigated.

Every character and company is a composite of real people and places from my work life. I just changed the names to protect the incompetent.

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or businesses, active or bankrupt, is either coincidental or unavoidable because these eddiots are everywhere!

Thanks to all you bossholes, players, liars, fakers, slackers, posers, jerks, cheaters, and producers of endless technical debt. I used to hate you but now I love you because I need no imagination. I just share forward the suffering you shared with me.

Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
queenOfHR
We hired a new programmer. He starts Monday.
URGENT! 10/21/2014

Hire 26 designer admins
2015 Software Budgets
Implement more idiocy
missMgmt
One thing you should know. He's an atheist.
yogeshV
So he doesn't believe that
hell exists?
efloChart
A week on
Help Desk oughta fix that.
Eddie Ottic has written 2 million lines of code for 94 firms in 50 years. There's a good chance something you own was built with his software.

He loves coding but hates going to work. Everywhere he's ever been had sufficient tech. None had sufficient management but plenty of bossholes.

When he says this, he's "not a team player". But when his comics say the same thing, others listen, laugh, and learn the inside truths no one else teaches. That's why he built eddiots.

He's a fair writer, a lousy artist, and a lazy developer. But combining them makes the magic vector art about his long I.T. incarceration. Read it, learn something, and most of all, have fun!

Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
Hide
from
Nero
Get
More
Coffee
Hide
Kim's
Mouse
Ignore
SOX
Audit
Copy
Time
Sheet
Eat
Gary's
Bagel
scrumBell
Why was Flo off yesterday? We needed her!
kimPediment
Because it was BIPOC day.
That's her floating holiday.
Nbr of dayssince last bug: 0dunningKruger
But you're
not BIPOC!
efloChart
Sure I am. Bisexual Programmer
On Caffeine.
Table of Contents
4 People Quit  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
7
66 Pixels  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
8
7 Or 8 Hours  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
9
98 Year Old Dev  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
10
AA  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
11
A Kind Remark  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
12
Accident  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
13
Anger Class  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
14
Animals Suffer  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
15
Appearances  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
16
Art Book  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
17
Atheist  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
18
BIPOC  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
19
Best Communicate  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
20
Beyonce  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
21
Bilingual Signs  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
22
Body Shaming  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
23
Bubbles  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
24
Casual Friday  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
25
Changed PW  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
26
Code Naked  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
27
Company Party  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
28
Conundrum  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
29
Cool Parents  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
30
Cyanide  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
31
Day Care  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
32
Dead Poets  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
33
Deception  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
34
Dev Blackmail  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
35
Did You Hear That  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
36
Disbelief  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
37
Dont Work  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
38
Dream Based  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
39
Easy Job  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
40
Ed Hominem  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
41
Email Loop  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
42
Employee OTM  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
43
Expression  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
44
Fat Shaming  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
45
Father  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
46
Float Remind  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
47
Free Donut Friday  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
48
Free Tickets  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
49
Freedom  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
50
G Key  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
51
Get Along  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
52
Ghost Or Reject  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
53
Give Finger  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
54
Go Go Girls  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
55
Great Week  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
56
Back to Top
Table of Contents
Gregor Twitch  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
57
Hajib  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
58
Halloween  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
59
Headaches  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
60
Honest Stds  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
61
How To Tell  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
62
Huddle Rooms  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
63
Hyundai  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
64
ID With Results  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
65
IT In Tampa  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
66
I Ts Fault  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
67
Ice Cream Too  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
68
Immediately  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
69
Imposters  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
70
Indiginous  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
71
Instructions  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
72
Instructions 2 Of 2  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
73
Its A Shame  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
74
Job Sharing  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
75
Kind Enough  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
76
Kindergarden  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
77
Know It All  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
78
Krazy Klub  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
79
LGBTQ Space  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
80
Late Boomer  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
81
Lexis Boyfriend  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
82
Lies On Tik Tok  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
83
Losing Weight  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
84
Lottery Wife  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
85
Love Hate  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
86
Lunch  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
87
MPD Meds  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
88
Make More  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
89
Manager Diversity  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
90
Medical Advice  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
91
Meeting Phone  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
92
Meta Physical  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
93
Minorities  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
94
Modern Talk  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
95
Multitask Class  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
96
Name  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
97
Name It Right  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
98
Nerd Awareness  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
99
Never Happen  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
100
Never Work  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
101
New Headset  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
102
Newsletter  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
103
Nice To Team  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
105
Nightware  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
106
No Answer  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
107
Back to Top
Table of Contents
No Eat Or Drink  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
108
No Longer A Nerd  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
109
No More Room  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
110
No Phones  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
111
No Shaming  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
112
Nonbinary  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
113
Nonhire  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
114
Not My Mother  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
115
Not Team Player  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
116
OJ  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
117
Obsolesence  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
118
Org Chart  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
119
Other Class  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
120
PLU  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
121
PTO  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
122
Paid To Surf  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
123
Panera Lunch  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
124
Pasco County  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
125
People Persons  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
126
Pgh GPS  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
127
Porcine  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
128
Precision  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
129
Production Work  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
130
Promotions  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
131
Pussy  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
132
Quotas For B As  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
133
RU Team Player  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
134
Real NSFW  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
135
Recording  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
136
Redemption  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
137
Redundancy  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
138
Redundant Or No  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
139
Reminders  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
140
Report Errors  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
141
Respond Failure  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
142
Rest Room 2   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
143
Robbery  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
144
Roots  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
145
Royal Flush  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
146
SB Specific  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
147
SME  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
148
Sci Fi  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
149
Slow Food  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
150
Smart Potion  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
151
Softball  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
152
Something Wrong  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
153
Sorry Im Late  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
154
Spanish  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
155
Special Algorithm  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
156
Speed Limit  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
157
Back to Top
Table of Contents
Spyware  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
158
Strange Specs  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
159
Surprise  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
160
Suspended  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
161
Tabs Fired  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
162
Teach Ghosters  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
163
Team Building  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
164
Team Players  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
165
Teddiots Is Over  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
166
The Dev Did It  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
167
The Producers  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
168
Third Person  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
169
Tik Tok Behavior  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
170
Timesheet Rpt  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
171
Tired & Confused  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
172
Too Young Too Old  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
173
Top Priority  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
174
Translator  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
175
Tribunal  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
176
Trollwall  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
177
Twilight Zoom  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
178
Ugly  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
179
Unwritten Rule  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
180
Valium  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
181
Verbalness  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
182
WFH Expenses  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
183
Wait Time  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
184
Wall Of Shame  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
185
Weinar Algorithm  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
186
What Kind Of Dev  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
187
Whatcha Doing  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
188
When I Got Here  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
189
Which Eddiot RU  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
190
Whos Smarter  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
192
Why Comics  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
193
Why Gossip  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
194
Why Janitors  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
195
Wifes Picture  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
196
Worker Input  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
197
Woz Speaks  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
198
Write Instr  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
199
Xkcd Twitch  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
200
Yelp Reviews  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
201
Youll Be Sorry  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
202
Back to Top
MISSIONSTATEMENTIf you'rereading this,you're the firstperson whoever did.ORG CHARTI'm the boss.You're not.OPEN DOORPOLICYlol lol lol lolneroFiddler
Eddie!
Stop goofing off and get back
to work!
URGENT! 10/21/2014

Hire 26 designer admins
2015 Software Budgets
Implement more idiocy
missMgmt
What the heck do you call that?
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
Digital transformation.
You made it this far without buying? It's a lousy ten bucks! What are you waiting for?
eddiots.com
It's not even ten bucks anymore! Our eddiot made it five bucks.
eddiots.com
Buy NowBack to Top
BUY $5
Brainstorming
Ideas Inside
helenWaite
What will people think when we're always late?
yogeshV
They'll think we're I.T.
alGorithm
And what will they think when they see how stupid we are?
efloChart
They'll think we're I.T. in Tampa.

eddiots Comic Books!
eddiots
by eddieOttic
NOHELLNOAGILEPLANNINGBOARDJANFEBMARAPRMAYJUNJULAUGOCTNOVDECYOU WANT IT WHEN?LOL LOL LOL LOL2025  2026  2027  2028WHERE'STHE STORYASK THEPRODUCTOWNERNEXTSPRINTSEP
Agiletated
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Bondage
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Bossholes
eddiots
by eddieOttic
 OVERHEAD
 I.T. DEPT
COST $5M.
With 1 Manager  $ 20M.
With 2 Managers   60M.
With 3 Managers 140M.
With 4 Managers 170M.
With CIO $200M
Busimess
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Code Nuts
eddiots
by eddieOttic
 
eddietude
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Eddieficial
Intelligence
eddiots
by eddieOttic
$100   $100   $100  $100$200   $200   $200  $200$300   $300   $300  $300$400   $400   $400  $400
SUPPLY
CHAIN
NO
BUGS
BIG
DATA
DOG
FOOD
Favorites
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Git a
Job!
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Haz Math
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Low Tech
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Manajerks
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Scrumbells
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Slackers
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Crap-for-Less
Employee Trivia Game
Compete for Fun and Prizes!
1st Place: $100
2nd Place: $50
3rd Place: $25
30 second time limit per question
  Join Game
Stories
eddiots
by eddieOttic
Tiny Tales


Temp Offer Expires at the Singularity!
Get all 16 Comic Books
for $39!
(reg $5 ea)
Tap on a Book
To see Inside
eddiots.com
BUY
NOW
$80
$39
MAKEUP
SHOES
STUFF
CLOTHES
COFFEE
OPRAH
ebettyOttic
Hey brainiacs! Don't forget my Eddie's first puzzle book!
LSOBSHESO
My variable names suck!
Help me be a team player!
Descrumble My Variables
What's the surprise answer?
200 NEW Puzzles
Scrumbles
for
eddiots
eddieOttic


Back to Top
eddieOttic
Comic Engineer
contact: eddiots at gmail

Eddie's Favorite Comics
Loading ArtistWork ChroniclesThey Can TalkxkcdCyanide and HappinessPizza Cake

This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 License.