"!"
                       
 778 • Book EI • 12/25/17
eddiots
I.T. Comics by eddieOttic
Eddieficial
Intelligence
dadbot
I know she comes to this charging station.
dadbot
I hope shes shows up
soon.

I have 7 million tasks to do.
mombot
That jerk's been sitting there for hours.

I wish he'd leave.
mombot
I have 7 million tasks to do and I'm down to 4%.
Eddieficial Intelligence
What is Artificial Intelligence? It's data. And logic. And use cases. Slightly advanced software. That's it. Nothing new. We've had AI slowly "taking over the world" for years.

Eddieficial Intelligence, on the other hand, is new, it's hip, it's fun, and it really is taking over the world: the comic world.

Eddiebot was conceived in the backend of a Fibonacci GT500 by Mombot and Dadbot right after USB was invented. He's been training for years. Now that he's finally in the Crap-for-Less I.T. Department, things have never been the same.

Forget about Artificial Intelligence. Embrace Eddieficial Intelligence. Let Eddiebot show you the way!
Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeeEddieOttic
Eddiebot, why didn't you invite me to Happy Hour?
eddiebot
Because your teammates taught me
not to.
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeeEddieOttic
You're just like everyone else
in I.T.
eddiebot
Thank you.

Your work is done here.
Fart
into
Mic
Hide
from
Nero
Hide
Kim's
Mouse
Delete
all
Texts
Eat
Gary's
Bagel
PIN
is
1234
scrumBell
I can't get a Jira ticket! How can we replace crappy Jira?
eddiebot
I can easily write a
much better ticketing app.
kimPediment
Then why
don't you?
eddiebot
I can't get a Jira ticket.
Reviews
AI taking over I.T.? Eddie shows that it can't get worse.
★★★★★
Things are so screwed up here, AI can't fix it fast enough.
★★★★★
Eddiebot is cute! Eddie must live vicariously through him.
★★★★★
Eddie made me a robot! Why is it always the mother's fault?
★★★★☆
Eddie's most creative book. But I'm still stupid.
★☆☆☆☆
I'd fire Eddie if Eddiebot
didn't get so much done.
☆☆☆☆☆
Back to Top
CoffeeTeaAdderallgaryRiggBREAKROOM
I don't understand.
My leaf blower won't work.
eddiebot
Community rules prohibit leaf blowing before 8 a.m.
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
How do we turn Eddiebot off?
eddiebot
Don't hang this on me.

You're the one who connected
me to the HOA API.
About Eddiots
This is a work of fiction inspired by real events I witnessed, endured, or instigated.

Every character and company is a composite of real people and places from my work life. I just changed the names to protect the incompetent.

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or businesses, active or bankrupt, is either coincidental or unavoidable because these eddiots are everywhere!

Thanks to all you bossholes, players, liars, fakers, slackers, posers, jerks, cheaters, and producers of endless technical debt. I used to hate you but now I love you because I need no imagination. I just share forward the suffering you shared with me.

Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeEddieOttic
Eddiebot, please write me a fresh LunkedIn profile.
eddiebot
Results oriented high achieving attention to detail I.T. professional
AGILE
SUCKS
NOT ATEAMPLAYERBADEDDIETUDEeeEddieOttic
This looks just like every
poser in I.T.!
eddiebot
Whose data do you think I trained from?
Eddie Ottic has written 2 million lines of code for 94 firms in 50 years. There's a good chance something you own was built with his software.

He loves coding but hates going to work. Everywhere he's ever been had sufficient tech. None had sufficient management but plenty of bossholes.

When he says this, he's "not a team player". But when his comics say the same thing, others listen, laugh, and learn the inside truths no one else teaches. That's why he built eddiots.

He's a fair writer, a lousy artist, and a lazy developer. But combining them makes the magic vector art about his long I.T. incarceration. Read it, learn something, and most of all, have fun!

Buy BookBack to TopBuy Collection
kimPediment
Eddiebot's parents pair programming wasn't such a good idea.
CoffeeTeaAdderallgaryRiggBREAKROOM
Yea. They finished early and now look what they're doing.
dadbot
mombot
Table of Contents
1 Week Sprint  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
8
2 Bots  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
9
2 Checkers  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
10
3 Batches  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
11
AS  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
12
ASCII Ears  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
13
Acronyms  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
14
Act Like A Human  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
15
Active Shooter  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
16
Adderal 220  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
17
Adminbot  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
18
Advertise  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
19
African  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
20
Alignable  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
21
Anticipate  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
22
Art Book  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
23
Art Of Management  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
24
Ask Father Mother  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
25
Attitude  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
26
BBBBB  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
27
Backwards  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
28
Bad Candidate  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
29
Because Effect  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
30
Best Bot  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
31
Best Worst  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
32
Birth Control  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
33
Blind Dev  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
34
Bossbot  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
35
Bot Bay  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
36
Bot Book  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
37
Bot Bot  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
38
Bot Busy  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
39
Bot Camp  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
40
Bot In  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
41
Bot Love  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
42
Bot Mail  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
43
Bot Meetup  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
44
Bot Rape  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
45
Bot Tube  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
46
Bot Up School  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
47
Botipedia  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
48
Breast Feed  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
49
Broken  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
50
Bucket  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
51
Buffet Cameras  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
52
Build Impossible  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
53
Built By Bots  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
54
CEO Bot  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
55
Cable TV  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
56
Cant Do That  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
57
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Table of Contents
Cant Find Good  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
58
Cant Keep  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
59
Career Path  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
60
Change Script  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
61
Changed PW  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
62
Charging Station  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
63
Checkers  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
64
Chess  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
65
Clone  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
66
Conceived  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
67
Continue  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
68
Cyanide And  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
69
DM Amybot  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
70
Damn Shame  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
71
Dated  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
72
Dev Calibrate  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
73
Devpardy Job  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
74
Directions  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
75
Distraction  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
76
Document Pgm  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
77
Dolly  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
78
Dont Know What  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
79
Dred Bot  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
80
Drudge  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
81
Dumb Plant  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
82
EOT M 7 Times  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
83
EOY  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
84
Easiest Program  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
85
Eddie Retired  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
86
Eff Imm  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
87
Electric Bill  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
88
Email No Bugs  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
89
Employee OTM  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
90
Fail Faster  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
91
Fail To Grasp  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
92
Fastest Program  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
93
Fastest Writer  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
94
Father  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
95
Fav Book  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
96
Favorite Movie  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
97
Freedom  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
98
From Scratch  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
99
Frozen  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
100
Funny  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
101
G Key  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
102
Gettysburg  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
103
Girlfriend  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
104
Gluten  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
105
Good Candidate  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
106
Great Answer  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
107
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Table of Contents
Gregor Twitch  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
108
Half Great Half Suck  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
109
Have Process  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
110
Hello  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
111
High Notes  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
112
Hit Deadline  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
113
Hooker  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
114
Howard Franklin  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
115
Human Talk  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
116
Hyundai  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
117
I Dunno  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
118
Imaginary  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
119
Improvise  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
120
In Love  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
121
Indexing  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
122
Jeopardy  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
123
Job Listing  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
124
Key Pass  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
125
Kiddie Porn  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
126
Knock Knock  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
127
LI Profile  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
128
Leaf Blower  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
129
Learn Spanish  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
130
Learn Trick  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
131
Leon Twitch  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
132
Like A Human  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
133
Lock Of The Week  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
134
Lock Table  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
135
Magic Magic  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
136
Manager Bots  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
137
Margins  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
138
Married  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
139
Meetings  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
140
Menu Item  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
141
Mgr Calibrate  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
142
Minify  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
143
Missing Tag  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
144
Monetize  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
145
Monkey  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
146
Monopoly  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
147
More Work  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
148
Mythical  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
149
Name  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
150
Need Update  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
151
No Answer  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
152
No Better  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
153
No Invite  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
154
No Tradeoffs  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
155
Not Busy  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
156
Not My Fault  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
157
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Table of Contents
Not Team Player  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
158
Obfuscate  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
159
Olive Garden  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
160
Only Great  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
161
Own Standup  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
162
PTO  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
163
PTO Mother  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
164
Pay Raise  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
165
Pedigree  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
166
People Skills  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
167
Pgh GPS  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
168
Poetry  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
169
Pointless  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
170
Proj Mgr Calibrate  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
171
Promotion  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
172
Protected  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
173
Publix  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
174
Pudding  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
175
Purple Socks  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
176
Quebec  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
177
RE Listing  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
178
Readv  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
179
Redundance  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
180
Replace Devs  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
181
Replace Employer  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
182
Replace Jira  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
183
Replace Managers  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
184
Review  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
185
Road Not Taken  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
186
Roomba  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
187
Royal Flush  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
188
Rule Breaker  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
189
SB General  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
190
SB Specific  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
191
Salary Needs  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
192
Salon  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
193
Same As Human  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
194
Say It  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
195
Scrumbot  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
196
Seminar  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
197
Sex Sex Sex  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
198
Smart  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
199
Smith  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
200
Something Wrong  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
201
Sort  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
202
Sports Quotes  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
203
Sprint  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
204
Stored Procedures  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
205
Streaming  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
206
Sun Tan Lotion  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
207
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Table of Contents
TED Bot  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
208
The Standard  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
209
Throw Away  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
210
Tracking Nbr  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
211
Tried Before  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
212
Triggers  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
213
Typewriter  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
214
Union  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
215
Unknown Devbot  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
216
Upsell Socks  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
217
Upside Down  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
218
Vegas  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
219
Version 42  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
220
WWIII  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
221
Wait Time  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
222
Water Or Fall  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
223
When Done  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
224
Write Email  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
225
Write Instr  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
226
Write Resume  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
227
Writing Achievement  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
228
Wrong Data  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
229
Xkcd Twitch  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
230
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Nbr of dayssince last bug: 0dunningKruger
Why can't I
get the programmers to do anything?
eddiebot
Because
you're
micro managing them.
queenOfHR
Wow! Eddiebot really is just like a real human.
eddiebot
Then where are my benefits?

And my PTO?
Everyone's writes about AI but only Eddie writes about EI. Support him. Buy a book!
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Yaa! Eddiebot
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You just won a recharging spot right next to your girlfriend!
eddiebot
WOO HOO!
WOO HOO!
WOO HOO!
I will always read Eddie's comics.I will always read Eddie's comics.I will always read Eddie's comics.I will always read Eddie's comics.I will always read Eddie's comics.I will always read Eddie's comics.I will always read Eddie's comics.I will always read Eddie's comics.I will always read Eddie's comics.I will always read Eddie's comics.I will always read Eddie's comics.

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eddieOttic
Comic Engineer
contact: eddiots at gmail

Eddie's Favorite Comics
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